KESB Child protective service

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  • My ex is 41 years old. He is from turkey. He was born in Switzerland. I also grew up in Switzerland, where we both still live. I‘m originally from Croatia. I have the Swiss citizenship. I‘m writing in English so everybody can understand. My ex has no profession.He is a thief.He is an alcoholic.He is a drug addict (coke). He started to beat me up when I wanted to leave him after 3 years.He worked but hid always his income so he didn‘t pay taxes or child supp to this day after our split. Unfortunately, I was 17 when I met him. I didn‘t know that he would be that way. I started a family with him when I was 21. I was naive and I was in love. He was acting normal back then. I didn‘t think that he is a pathological liar and a narcissist. I didn’t know about the alcohol and the drugs. At the hospital he turned into a monster. He told me I must give our son a Turkish name or he would leave me and our son. I couldn‘t recognize him anymore. I’ve spent many months in shock about how he treated me right after I gave birth. My trust was more and more fading. Instead of paying bills he used the money on expensive cars and drugs. I left him and moved to my parents for about one year. Then, I moved out with my son into my own apartment. I worked and raised our child by myself since he never paid child supp. nor did he help me watch our child. We had an agreement that he would visit our child every weekend. Child protective services and I let him choose when he wanted to visit our son. But, he didn’t. He came when he liked to see our child. It was about once a month or sometimes he did’t show up for up to 6 months at all. After 11 years he called police and cps on me to get custody of our child. He told them lies about me like I was trying to keep him from his child. His absence was his own decision. He was allowed to see our child every weekend but he refused himself! He was on alcohol, drugs and partying after we split. He was 26 when our son was born. I was a responsible mother. I paid my bills on time, I worked full time and had supp. from my family. I gave my son to a really nice daycare. I loved the people there. There were amazing to my son and he loved them too. Everything was going well despite I was alone. It was hard for me because I never had time for myself but other than that everything was going really great. My son was healthy and happy. That was all that mattered to me. He later was also a really good student. He was really smart and had a really good personality. He was funny, kind and he was a really good little gentleman to me. Raising him was easy. He loved and respected me. He had friends from school and our neighborhood. Everybody loved to play with him. My ex started to get in trouble, because he was having huge debts and he was charged for fraud and money laundering. So they wanted to kick him out of the country. He planned to gain custody so they would leave him here! So he tried to manipulate cps and he tried to make me look like a bad mother only to gain custody for his own selfish reasons.They tracked me down to ask me, if he was taking care of our son. I told the truth. Didn‘t want to lie for him and get in trouble for him. I told them he wasn‘t paying any child supp, he wasn‘t visiting regularly and that he was abusive to me also in front of our son after our split twice. He then started to get mad at me. He told them I was a workaholic and that I would neglect our child. I was so mad. Yes, I did work full time but I wasn‘t a workaholic and our child wasn‘t neglected. He was always well taken care of. He didn’t miss one single meal. And if my ex wanted me to be more at home with our son he should have had stepped in as a father and he should have paid child supp. Instead, he didn‘t even file his tax declaration for over 10 years just to not pay taxes and child supp. He worked but he wasn’t willing to pay his debts in the amount of almost CHF 500’000! The allegations from him didn‘t stop. All the time he was calling the police against me within 2 years. He visited our son at school and took him home after school without telling me. I was losing my mind almost, because I was worried all the time about the whereabouts of our then 11 yo son. Cps and the police didn‘t help me at all. They didn‘t believe me. They acted like I was a mother just wanting to kick out the father out of his child’s life. They should have asked his family and my family. Everybody knew that he was a bad parent.But cps didn‘t contact anybody.They decided even to believe him when he told them that I was beating up our son! Our son was at his football practice one evening. My ex was there and so was I. I was wondering why he was there but I didn‘t think too much of it. All the sudden the police came and they yelled at me why I was having an argument with my ex in front of our child during soccer practice and why I beat up my ex and our child. I was thinking they must have had mistaken me for someone else. A few minutes later they took my son away from me and gave my son to my ex. They reported to cps that I was having a fight with my ex and that the child should be away from me because I was being abusive. 3,5 years and approx. CHF 50‘000 later I still to this day don‘t have my child back. There was a social worker who registered herself as an abetment and she probably made a lot of money with it as a social worker. She orchestrated along with my ex a huge ordeal against me. She recommended to the court that I should only be able to see my child for 2-3 hours every two weeks and it should be supervised. I was treated like a criminal! But I have no criminal record, I have no unpaid bills, I never had issues with alcohol or drugs. I have no mental disorder. I had a really good paying job, I have finished 2 schools. I’m a capable and normal human being. After all his father did to me I‘m still strong and trying not to loose my mind and stand up for my child. I should be rewarded, instead, they are destroying me. I lost so much money on lawyers and courts. Nothing happens. They‘re waiting or they decide to help me but then when they have to act accordingly, they don‘t. They sent my son to a psychologist and then sent the bill to me to pay it. Since I told them that I‘m not willing to pay that because it‘s not my fault and my ex owes me over CHF 100‘000 child supp. for 12 years not paying them and I had huge spendings already for my lawyers and courts, cps reported that I was not being cooperative. Even when our son was taken from me and was brought to my ex I was still paying all expenses alone for over one year! I go to court again and again. I‘m getting yelled at after 5 seconds in, because I‘m telling the story like they ask me to. I start to tell this story and I have proof of course for almost everything that happened, but all the judges do is interrupt and yell at me. It‘s like the world has become ruled by the devil. Good and decent people are being destroyed while the bad ones are not being punished or only a little so it doesn‘t even hurt them really. They get a little bill from the court to pay but they still keep on doing the same thing over and over again. How can a person after 15 years of constant trauma from the same person finally win a battle like this? Nobody listens, nobody cares. Our son is now depressed and he has bad grades at school. When he was living with me he had the best grades out of his whole class. I am desperate, tired, angry, confused and I lost so much money that I can‘t even comprehend why I even invested to go to court at all. They don‘t care. The people there are heartless and are not interested to solve the problem. After 5 minutes they kick us out and it‘s done for them. It‘s driving me insane that nobody has a moral compass anymore. I can prove that he wasn‘t paying child supp, because the state was taking care of that. I have all transactions - he paid nothing! I have proof that he stalked and hit me. They told me it‘s my own fault that I have a child with him and that I was talking to him still. I wasn‘t! I was opening the door because cps forced me to still let him see our son and take him over to his apartment over the weekends. He was living on the streets for more than 2 years! He crashed friends couches, but cps didn‘t believe me when I told them that his friends are constantly kicking him out because he always promises them to leave or to pay rent but he doesn‘t. Once a friend of his came to me crying and begging to not give our son to my ex anymore because he wasn‘t even feeding him. I told that to cps. They didn‘t believe me. They didn‘t even check if it‘s true what I say. They assumed I was lying. I was working at a huge law firm. They assumed I was just abusing my power. But I wasn‘t! I was the victim all 11 years by HIM and not the other way around. I‘m almost going crazy right now. I can‘t work anymore. I‘m crying all the time in front of my screen. I can‘t concentrate on anything other than my son. I didn‘t see him since February this year. Cps told me now my son hates me and doesn‘t want to see me. My ex was manipulating him during these 3,5 years! They don‘t care! It‘s always me and nobody believes one word I say. It‘s frustrating and it‘s killing me. I got to know other mothers with similar problems with CPS and it seems like all they care about is how to earn money. I have ordered the documents I am allowed to see. They tried to hide them. When I finally got them and told journalists about my case, cps started to attack me and are stating that I have to stop otherwise they would sue me for defamation. But it’s exactly the opposite. They‘re abusing their power.